Fool That I Am Read online

  From the recesses of the house, he could hear the vacuum cleaner still running, so he knew that she couldn’t hear him. Pulling the kid’s skinny frame into his side, they walked further into the house to find Lola singing into an unplugged microphone in front of a Disney movie. All of that was forgotten when she spotted him. “Uncle Sam! You came to see me! Where have you been? We were supposed to have tea!”

  He swung the curly-haired angel up in his arms and made her shriek while tossing her in the air and then catching her on the way back down. “Sorry, squirt. I’ve had a lot going on. Why don’t you go get dressed in some warm clothes and you can help me and Derrick with the leaves outside?”

  Loud squeals of excitement trailed her down the hall until she must have run into her mom. Billie turned the vacuum cleaner off and Sam heard her say, “What’s the big rush, doodlebug? You almost mowed me down.”

  “Uncle Sam is here, Mommy! We’re going to rake some leaves. Well, he will rake some leaves, but I will be jumping in them!” Lola explained happily to her mother.

  Ominous silence greeted that pronouncement for several moments until she replied, “Come on, Lola Jean. Let’s get you dressed so you’re warm enough to go outside.”

  Sam knew it would be several more minutes before they made an appearance, so he took the opportunity to speak with Derrick. “So, how’s everything going, buddy?”

  Derrick, feeling like quite the young man, tried his best to project a grown-up attitude. “Pretty good. I’m on the honor roll again and I made a bunch of new friends this year.”

  Sam raised an interested eyebrow. Derrick had been quiet and introverted by nature, but he had made more of an effort to open up this year and it appeared to be paying off. “That’s awesome, dude. What about girls? Got your eye on anyone in particular?”

  Derrick rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide the blush that was creeping up his cheeks. “There might be one or two,” he finally admitted, but refused to allow Sam to drag more out of him.

  Finally, Sam asked the question that he’s been dying to know the answer to. “How’s your mom doing? Does she need anything?”

  “No, actually she’s doing really well,” he surprised Sam by replying. “She got a second job that pays really good money. She’s seemed a lot less stressed out for the last week.”

  At this point, Billie and the human jumping bean arrived in the room. Sam stood to his feet and awkwardly announced, “Sorry to just show up on your doorstep, B.J. But I did promise Derrick we would work in the yard today. If it’s not a good time, I can come back.”

  Billie looked everywhere but at him as she replied, “No, it’s perfectly fine. Actually, if you don’t mind, I may run out and do some errands if you could keep an eye on them for a few hours.”

  “Of course,” Sam responded immediately, sensing she needed to escape for a while. “Take your time.”

  As she gathered up her purse and car keys, he couldn’t help but notice several small changes in her appearance. Her fingernails were manicured and tipped in white which caused her hands to look even more slim and feminine. Her hair, always his Achilles ’ heel, was loose and fell in gentle waves down to her shoulder blades and her makeup was carefully applied to highlight her features without being overwhelming. Her jeans were form-fitting and disappeared into the cuff of knee-high brown boots and her green sweater was snug in all the right places. She was gorgeous and Sam had to curl his hand into a fist so he didn’t reach out to touch her.

  When she was ready to walk out the door, she called back over her shoulder, “Derrick, make sure you take your inhaler outside and take breaks if you feel short of breath. Please make Lola keep her hat on, too. Love you guys! Be home soon!” And she was gone.

  Sam stood there staring after her silently, but in his mind, he thought, We love you, too.

  *************************************************************************

  “Oh, my God, mija! You mean you left him there at your house while you ran away?” Connie asked her incredulously while pouring Billie a cup of coffee.

  Billie moaned pitifully as she buried her face in her arms where she leaned over Connie’s kitchen table. “I can’t help it, Con. I panicked big time. I just couldn’t face him so soon after… well, you know.”

  Connie placed a brightly painted mug of creamy, sweet coffee in front of her and patted her back comfortingly before taking her seat. “You mean since that puta told you she was pregnant and Sam was the daddy?”

  Billie sipped the hot coffee and hummed in appreciation before answering, “Yes, that and the fact that they will be getting married soon. I’m trying really hard to let him go, but it feels like I’m shoveling snow during a blizzard.”

  Connie sipped her own coffee and nodded sympathetically. “Why didn’t you talk to him about it? You could have just confronted him with what you know, but instead, you run over here like un conejo with his tail on fire! Give the man a chance to tell you the truth. For all you know, that bitch could be lying to you.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Billie replied, shaking her head. “It would be too easy to bust her out with Sam. She knows that I would ask him right away, so there’s no reason for her to lie. I just can’t face him right now, Con. I’ll wait it out here with you for a few hours and hopefully he will leave as soon as I get home.”

  Connie looked at her disbelievingly. “Come on, Billie, let’s be honest. What hot, single man is going to spend a Saturday afternoon with someone else’s kids if there’s nothing more in it for him? Not even your sainted Sam, as much as he loves them, would do that. He came over there to see you whether he will admit it or not. But what do I know? I am still single, as Mamá keeps reminding me. Speaking of which, did you meet any more handsome men at that fancy club last weekend?”

  Immediately, Daniel’s face floated into her mind and she smiled softly at the thought of him. “I didn’t really get a chance to mingle with the audience this time, but I did meet a very charming and flirtatious man named Hank. He’s their chief of security and very handsome with big muscles,” she revealed with a teasing wink.

  “Oh, chica, please tell me he looked like Jason Statham. I may have to meet this man. Can I go to one of your shows, please?” she begged, folding her hands together imploringly.

  Billie laughed out loud. “Of course you can come to one of my shows! Daniel agreed to all my changes in the contract, so I’m sure having some moral support along will be no problem.”

  A sly look came over the Latin beauty’s face. “Oh, yes, the delicious and super rich Daniel. Now that is the perfect man to take your mind off of Sam, for sure. I don’t know that he’s the marrying kind, but that wouldn’t stop me from taking him for a test drive, si?”

  Billie could feel the heat climbing up her chest and into her cheeks. “You’re such a bad influence. I have to say, he was very attentive with his time and resources. It would be very easy to fall into a relationship with him, but I have a feeling that you’re right. I’m betting it would be like dating George Clooney: all the attention and fun, but with the firm understanding that it had a time limit.”

  Connie made a rude noise and dismissed her concern. “Just enjoy yourself, okay? You been under too much stress lately and you deserve to have some fun. So what if he doesn’t want to put a ring on it? Let him spend his money on you and have sex like the bunnies and walk away with your heart and some good memories. Relationships are so messy anyway. Have some fun, mija, but be careful, okay?”

  Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Billie responded, “I hear you, Connie. Now, how about we go knock out a little Christmas shopping before I have to go back to my house and face the music?”

  “Now you are speaking my language!” she replied, hurrying to grab her purse and heading for the door, Billie trailing thoughtfully behind her.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Several hours later, Billie begrudgingly returned home to face the music…and Sam. Even though the autumnal daylight was quickly fading,
she could still see that her small yard was free of leaves and her gutters were empty. A quick glance in the bed of Sam’s truck showed at least six large, black trash bags that presumably held the detritus that he and her son had cleaned up. Billie felt guilty that she had fled the house and left him to do her work, but she knew she wouldn’t have been able to hang around him without blurting out something stupid. At least her trunk had several presents for Derrick and Lola for Christmas, so she still felt a little productive for being able to mark those off her list. Daniel had texted her to see if she might consider doing another set this coming weekend, so she was confident that she could finish off her shopping with her next paycheck from singing.

  When she walked into her living room, it was to see all three of them piled on her couch, one kid on each side of Sam, watching Spongebob Squarepants and laughing. She stood there watching them for a moment just soaking in the sight of her three favorite people before she walked through the door. Stubbornly, she squashed the familiar feelings of longing and affixed an indifferent smile on her face.

  “Thank you for doing all that work, Sam. You didn’t have to do that, but I really appreciate it,” she said to him before walking into the kitchen to wash her hands and start dinner.

  Sam followed her cautiously into the kitchen and regarded her carefully. He knew he should just leave, but no one had ever accused him of being a genius, either. “It was no problem, B.J. The kids had a great time and I did, too. By the way, Derrick mentioned that you picked up a second job. Are you sure you have the time for that?” he asked her, concern coloring his voice.

  Billie took immediate offense to his question. How dare he speak to her about having time for a second job? He knew damn well that Chad never gave her any money to help with the kids. She shot him an aggrieved look while she pulled out cans of tomato soup and put a pot of water on to boil for the macaroni noodles. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I have plenty of time for this job. It’s not like I have a choice anyway. I am their mother and I have to provide for them. End of story,” she snapped.

  Sam’s head rocked back at her tone. He could count on less than one hand how many times Billie was angry with him, so it shocked him to hear it in her voice now. “You’re right and I’m sorry for questioning you. I know things have been a bit…awkward between us for the past few weeks and that’s my fault. I should have never crossed that line with you. I’m really sorry, Beej,” he offered, desperately trying to salvage something from their relationship.

  Billie blinked back angry tears as she kept her hands busy buttering bread for grilled cheese. She knew why he was sorry and it had everything to do with the fact that he was marrying someone else. Shame and embarrassment burned in her chest like fire as she thought of how she had thrown herself at him during that kiss. She had never felt like such a fool.

  Slamming the butter knife on the counter, she spun to face him. Emotion made her voice shake as she stared him down. “No, Sam. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I have leaned on you for so many years. I’m sorry that I have kept you from finding your own family. We’re only friends and I have no ties to you other than that. I have been selfish with your time and that has been made patently clear to me. I think you were right to stay away for the past two weeks. As a matter of fact, I think it would be best if you stopped coming over here altogether.”

  Even though that had been his original plan, hearing it from Billie’s lips set off a flare of panic in his chest that quickly ignited into anger. Closing the distance between them, he crowded her into the corner of the cabinets and towered over her. Immediately, the intoxicating scent of vanilla and cherries permeated his nose as her signature scent assailed his nose. He could feel his control slipping dangerously.

  “Oh, you do, do you?” he snapped back at her. “After all these years and all we’ve been through together, you’re just going to send me away like a naughty little boy? I don’t fucking think so.”

  Billie braced a manicured hand against the unforgiving wall of his chest and fruitlessly tried to push him out of her personal space. “Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do in my own home, Sam Garrett! I can’t do this anymore. You’ve got bigger things going on in your life right now, and you don’t need me and my family as a distraction anymore.”

  The fog in Sam’s head cleared enough for him catch that last part. “What do you mean by ‘things going on in my life’? What could be more important than you and the kids?” he asked incredulously.

  Billie stared agog at him, completely amazed by his cluelessness. “Seriously, Sam? How about your baby that’s on the way? How about the mother of your child? Don’t you think they are a little more important than an old friend?”

  Sam took a step back in shock. “How did you know about that? Who told you?” he demanded, ready to choke the big mouth that spilled the beans to Billie.

  Another little part of Billie’s heart broke in pieces at his admission. Apparently, he wasn’t the man she thought he was. “Why does it matter? The simple fact of the matter is that you have your own family to worry about now, so you can’t keep running over here to help mine.”

  He ran his hand through his silky black hair in frustration. “You don’t understand the situation, B.J. It’s not what you think, I promise. I don’t even think it’s my baby and I’m pretty sure she got pregnant on pur-“

  “On PURPOSE?!” Billie interrupted with a furious squawk. The thin thread of her control snapped. “Is that what you were going to say? Are you seriously going to stand there in front of me, ME, and say those words? Who coached you on that one, I wonder? Oh, wait, I bet it was your BFF, Chad! He just loooved to spout that one off!”

  Sam threw his head back with a groan. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! he thought furiously. He was such a dumbass to open his mouth and say that when he knew it was a sore spot for Billie. Trying desperately to backtrack, he assured her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you, but you don’t know all the information. If you just let me explain-“

  “No,” she cut him off again. “I’m done with your explanations, your divided loyalties, and your excuses. I can’t do this anymore, Sam. I think you need to leave. This time for good,” she whispered the last part. Her heart was in shreds and her stomach was in danger of heaving and tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks at any moment. She had to get him out here now.

  Sam stared at her in shock, but on the inside, he was wrecked. How had this happened? What would he do without her in his life? Finally, he looked away and replied through clenched teeth, “You’re the boss. Take care of yourself, Billie Jean.” And he turned and walked out the door.

  Billie couldn’t hold back the tears as she quickly paced down the hall and locked herself into the bathroom. Great sobs of despair welled up and spilled over as she tried to cry as quietly as possibly so as not to worry the kids. There was a gaping, ragged hole in her chest where her heart used to be and she was more devastated than she had ever been over Chad.

  After about ten minutes, a soft knock interrupted her cry fest. “Mom?” Derrick’s voice carried through the door. “Are you alright?”

  Billie took deep, calming breaths and forced her voice to be a normal as possible. “Yeah, baby, I’ll be just fine. I’ll be out in just a minute to make dinner, okay?”

  “Take your time. I put the noodles in to boil and started the soup, so don’t worry. I’m big enough to help.”

  Fresh tears ran down her face and a wobbly smile spread across her face. “Thank you, Derrick. You are a great kid, you know it?”

  “Yeah, I know,” he teased her before walking away.

  It was just the push she needed to pick herself back up, splash her face with cold water, and do damage control on her red, puffy face. She had two wonderful kids that needed her and they were hungry. Billie locked away her pain and anguish and forced herself to go back out there and have fun with her kids. Tears would keep for later, but for now, her kids need laughter. They needed her and sh
e needed them. She ignored the little voice in her head that insisted she needed Sam, too.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Daniel Petrosky leaned back in his black leather chair and released a sigh of annoyance. He’d been trying to read through the business plan on his desk for the past hour, but hadn’t made any progress. Every time he tried to concentrate, his traitorous mind would summon up the vision of Billie on stage wailing I Just Want to Make Love to You. She had been stunning and sexy and he had been on the verge of asking her to go home with him that night. However, his uncanny sixth sense had persuaded him to bide his time. Billie was not the kind of woman to give herself freely. She was a challenge, and that made Daniel even more eager to have her.

  A loud booming knock sounded on the door and Daniel called, “Come on in, Hank.”

  Since it was a casual Wednesday afternoon, Hank Nelson was dressed in dark wash jeans and a tight, blue tee shirt that molded to the muscles in his arms, chest, and abs. Even though Daniel was in impeccable shape himself, he still sometimes felt downright wimpy compared to his friend. Hank crossed the room with long strides and threw himself down into one of the leather chairs in front of Daniel’s desk.

  “Having problems with the Jameson proposal?” Hank asked without preamble.

  Running his hands through his hair in frustration, Daniel replied, “No, I’m sure it’s pretty standard and straight-forward. I’m just having a hard time concentrating. It’s only Wednesday and it already feels like this week has been going on for years.”

  Hank chuckled knowingly. “I think that has more to do with the fact that you will be seeing Billie Hardesty this weekend than with anything else. There’s nothing like a pretty face and a curvy body to get you all twisted up inside,” he commiserated knowingly.

  Daniel didn’t deny it. He just raised his eyebrow and said, “God, I know it. There’s just something so honest and refreshing about her. She isn’t easily impressed by wealth and largess. In fact, she holds a type of scorn for lavish spending. Did I tell you she turned down the mileage stipend, meals in the restaurant, and the use of the spa? Who does that?”